Flying Toaster Oven

I keep thinking maybe I’m being too sensitive and therefore, need to run it by a close one, spouse/good friend.   Every time I get into an argument with my mother, i notice that I have to run it by my husband just to make sure I’m not overly sensitive .   My mother doesnt understand boundaries.  To top it off, she’s very self centered.  Not to mention a martyr.  Oh, did I bring up a dramatist too?  So although on the outside, she seems caring and goes the extra mile to help, it’s really all about her.   I ‘m tired of being reprimanded and chided as though I’m still a teenager. Mind you, I was a good kid staying out of trouble but the way I was treated, you would think I was a rebellious teen.    I need to add that I was never rebellious but I did get so fed up with her constant chiding and harsh words.   I really cringe to this day when hubby even goes there or if i hear an adult being very critical towards their children.  i mean I have to stop myself when I know I’m about to snap or if I know i’m going down that road.  Sometimes, I get so upset at my mother that I swear I’ll never speak with her again but then it just keeps happening like a vicious cycle. 
There are so many words that need to be spoken but at this point, why bother?  My mother will have a conniption which will last hours.  And the strangest thing is, I’m the nicer of the kids.  Seriously, I stayed out of trouble, married a nice man and am fiscally responsible but no, not good enough.   Not enough drama in my life to keep her involved.

So a part of me feels guilty for not visiting home but time after time, I’m disappointed and underwhelmed by my parents.  Their reaction to normal occurrences just doesnt make sense.  I feel less like them and again, I try my best with all the right intentions but it never works out.  All my plans just never come into fruition.  Somehow they ruin a good time with the wrong comment.

This entry was posted on Monday, June 21st, 2010 at 8:18 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.